The Terrible Trifectas

I had some less than pleasant trifectas waltz all over my day.

Trifecta #1:
Kaia, Morgan, and J.

Kaia and Morgan are both dealing with their own horrible trials...Morgan is cutting two molars and Kaia has a UTI.
J came over today and he was very confused as to why Morgan and Kaia crashed after eating breakfast. I explained to him that they weren't feeling very good. So I got to spend some one-on-one with J...if you can count sewing in the same room as him. He would get very frustrated if I didn't say something remarkable to his imaginary scenarios he was cooking up. So, today I flew from one child to the next, answering questions remarkably, getting this and that, and disciplining my grumpy couple of turkeys.


Trifecta #2:

Yeast Infection, UTI, and Hemorrhoids.

What worse than dealing with one of these? Well, I'll tell ya. Now don't go all "TMI" on me. Just hear me out. What's worse is when you have all three of these at the same time. I literally have not been functioning well the past two days because I can't find a comfortable stance--sitting, standing, walking, dashing, lying down. It all hurts. The reason why I'm bringing up my current discomfort is that I found a plethora of helps to get through a UTI/Yeast Infection/Hemorrhoids doctor-free (because the reason I'm dealing with two of these issues is the aftermath from the antibiotics I was taking last week...thanks, but no thanks, doc...). So. Hemorrhoids? Take Cayenne Fruit capsules. It seriously helps and makes a difference. Take probiotics or consume enough (yogurt, sour cream, raw milk, etc, etc) that you're able to get a grand dose of it each day. UTI? Take a dose of goldenseal capsules--only take it for 7 days in a row--it's pretty potent stuff. Also take 1,000 mg of Vitamin C every hour while it's still plaguing you a nuisance. Drink unsweetened pineapple juice and unsweetened cranberry juice. Also, run to the store and get D-Mannose with CranActin. Mannose is a natural sugar that looks similar to glucose but, guess what? Your body can't break it down, so it eliminates it as fast as it can. It grabs onto the the E-coli bacterium (what's caused the infection) and puts it into a death grip--it's stronger than the bacteria. Beat that, yo. Out with the bacteria, in with restoring yourself to the ability to pee without crying. Yeast Infection? Stop eating sugar and carbs (basically a diabetic/celiac diet! yahoo!), and start rinsing with half water and half 3% hydrogen peroxide (I rinse with this every time I use the restroom). Again, get serious about those probiotics--you can use them internally and externally. Use probiotic yogurt instead of Vagisil every time you're uncomfortable...the probiotics crowd out the bacteria and restore a "healthy flora" to your lady bits. I found an additional remedy that I tried, but I'm only 75% sold on it because it hurt like hell CRAZY for the first 5 minutes, but it truly did clear up my yeast infection:

"This treatment took care of both internal and exterior discomforts and itching. For internal : get a small bowl and add 1Tbs table salt, 1 cap of apple cider vinegar, and 1Tbs of hot water. Then place a tampon in the mixture and let it soak up as much as possible. I left mine in the applicator and pushed just a lil out to make sure it got soaked up. While that is soaking up you can make your mixture for the external treatment. You get 1/2C warm water, 1Tbs salt, and 2Tbs of apple cider vinegar. Clean out as much of the infection from your hoohoo as possible. With a clean and soft rag, soak your rag in the solution and then GENTLY apply to labia and vag opening. Do not put rag inside you! Hold the rag the rag there for a few mins or until the slight pain goes away. The longer the better. Its not a searing pain with this one. I did this twice just to be safe. Then with a fresh clean rag, soak a corner in hydrogen peroxide and again Gently apply it to yourself. This will be the most comforting thing. Then you take the tampon you have been soaking till now and insert. There will be some discomfort along with it but just bear with it! If you can do this, you are on a fast track to feeling worlds better! Go sit down on the couch and relax a little while. The longer you keep it in (a movie length is best) the more I felt I was getting rid of the infection. Then remove it. If you are uncomfortable down there after you remove it, then apply the peroxide as same before with a clean rag again. I didnt experience any more external itching or internal after this. I did this twice a day. After three days it was about gone!"

Your lady parts are going to sting, but I noticed after a few hours of doing this that the biting pain was gone and I felt like things were healing at a pretty fast pace. I'm not trying to embarrass myself. I'm simply offering home remedies that work and work quickly. I'm feeling SO much better tonight. :)

Trifecta #3:
Empty gas tank, Ran out of minutes on my phone, Ran out of time.

'nuff said. Holy Moses, feast and famine...feast and famine...

At least I'm not a chicken.