I worked, reworked, revamped finances for 6 hours. I turned it inside out, upside down. The gist of it all is still the same. It's going to be very, very rough waters ahead. I updated my resume and references and also Steven's. I applied for a receptionist job that only works ya on Saturdays and Sundays, so I could still be a Mom for the most part. I don't know how to drag myself through this again. A person can only handle feeling incompetent and disappointing for so long until it swallows him or her whole. an I am starting to get the the point that I just don't want to care about it anymore.
The only significantly positive thing I did today was bake a cake. Which is not good for my health nor the health of my family because sugar + stress just INVITES a whole mass of colds and illnesses. So, in a way, I didn't do anything positive today at all.
That's it. Voila, a whole day where generally everything turns out worse in the end. I'm going to bed.
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I'm sorry that you're having a rough time. It reminds me of a scene from a movie I watched with Chrissy a while ago..."The best way to describe it (Life) is a long string of awful, awful, awful. And then, there is a moment so magical, it makes you forget all the awful...until the cycle catches up and it's more awful, awful, awful." I feel that way sometimes, too. So, here's hoping that one of those magic moments is waiting around the corner after all this awful. Love you.
ReplyDeleteCaite, thank you for your encouragement. I absolutely love that line of thought! It's totally my reality! Love ya.
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